WRITING 3 (Identifying and Analyzing Paragraph with Adequate and Inadequate Cohesion)

A.  HOW TO WRITE PARAGRAPH WITH ADEQUATE AND INADEQUATE COHESION

                                                 

This section contains some basic advice for good paragraphs cohesion:

A paragraph has cohesion, or flows, when the details of the paragraph fit together in a way that is clear to the reader. Cohesion is partially the product of choosing an appropriate paragraph pattern for your ideas, and partially the product of sentence-level control.

Here are some ways to improve paragraph cohesion:

• Repeat key words or phrases or pronouns that point to them to link sentences (and alert them to the importance of the ideas represented by those words and phrases).
• Use parallelism. Parallelism can be applied to parts of a sentence. It can also be applied to sentences within a paragraph.
• Maintain consistency of tone, register, and point of view.
• Provide transitions. See "Transitional Words and Phrases" below.

B.    WHAT IS COHESION?

Cohesion concerns the flow of sentences and paragraphs from one to another. It involves the tying together of old information and new. When we write academic essays, particularly in the humanities, we work hard to foster cohesion structurally, which enhances a reader’s understanding of our ideas?

Essay organization

The first paragraph should include a thesis statement, which announces the main idea or argument of the paper. The rest of the sentences should lead up to or anticipate the thesis, either directly or indirectly. The body paragraphs should support the thesis statement and should be arranged in a clear hierarchy. Readers should be able to understand how each paragraph relates to what has come before it. This can be accomplished by the use of transition sentences.

Repetition

Repetition helps to enhance a reader's understanding of what the author has written. Pointers are used as a tool in sentences to use repetition for better understanding.

Pointers are words, phrases, or ideas that appear in a sentence, and are repeated in the next.

Example: Epilepsy is a brain or neurological disorder where excess electrical energy causes seizures. Seizures result when the brain's nerve cells, or neurons, produce an excessive or abnormal amount of electrical activity. Depending on this activity…

Example: Depending on this activity, three results may occur. First, the seizure may start and stop in one location. Next, it may spread a bit and stop. Finally, it may go through the body's nervous system before stopping.

To prevent repetitions from becoming dull, an author may use:

·    Variations of the word (golf, golfer, golfing)

·    Pronouns (doctors…they)

·    Synonyms (jump, hop, bounce)

Transitions

Transitional words and phrases, also known as “tags, are used to hold a paper together. They can be simple conjunctions, like and and but, or they can be more complex. Here is a chart of transitional devices accompanied by a simplified definition of their function.

C.    THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COHESION AND COHERENCE

Cohesion and Coherence

Cohesion: Readers must feel that they move easily from one sentence to the next, that each "coheres" with the one before and after.

Coherence: Readers must also feel that sentences are not just individually clear but constitute a unified passage focused on a coherent set of ideas.

Cohesion

Cohesion refers to how a group of sentences "hang together." Sometimes, to achieve better cohesion we have to "violate" other writing "rules" we think are sacrosanct.

To understand coherence we need to consider how readers make sense out of larger groupings of sentences. Readers feel a passage is coherent when the writer helps them accomplish two tasks:

1. Identify the topics (what the sentence is about) of individual sentences quickly.

   2. Recognize how the topics form a connected set of ideas.

  Readers want to know what a sentence is about, its topic. However, this is not always easy    to find.

Topic refers not to the grammatical subject of a sentence, but to its "psychological" subject, and we expect to find the topic in the first few words of the sentence. Readers are more comfortable with these early topics because it helps them understand what the sentence is about. More important, readers depend on seeing in a sequence of topics (in a sequence of sentences) what the whole passage is about.

Combining Cohesion and Coherence

If you begin sentences and even clauses with information familiar to your readers, with phrases that are short, simple, and familiar, your readers are more likely to think you can write clearly and coherently. And no two units of information are shorter and simpler than the subject of a sentence and that subject’s specific actions as a verb.

Avoiding Illusory Cohesion

This handout lists ways of improving cohesion through providing consistency of topics and by helping the reader see the movement between various ideas. Some writers try to create cohesion by using logical conjunctions like thus, therefore, however, and so on, regardless of whether those words signal any genuine logical connections. Is the following passage cohesive?

Because the press is the major medium or interaction between the president and the people, how it portrays him influences his popularity. Therefore, it should report on the president objectively. Both reporters and the president are human, however, subject to error and favoritism. Also, people act differently in public than they do in private. Hence, to understand a person, it is important to know the whole person, his environment, upbringing, and education. Indeed, from the correspondence with his family, we can learn much about Harry S. Truman, our thirty-third president.

The connectors are virtually meaningless. Experienced writers rely more on the intrinsic flow of their prose than on connecting devices like these. While you might need a bit or however when you contradict or qualify what you have just said, and a therefore, consequently, or as a result to wind up a line of reasoning, you probably should not need more than a few such connecting devices per page. Any more than that and it begins to look as though you were worried that the prose did not hang together on its own.

In short:

1. Begin sentences with short simple words and phrases communicating information that appeared in previous sentences, or with knowledge that you can assume you and your reader share.

2. Through a series of sentences that you want your readers to understand as a coherent, focused passage, keep your topics short and reasonably consistent.

D. Identifying And Analyzing Paragraph

‘’ This Is Me ''    

 Well, in here I would like to tell you about myself. Everything, that related about me. In this paragraph I want   describe about me and how my life in general.

1.  My name is dwi astuti, My nickname is dwi.  I am 21^th years old. I was born in Mulya Asri on March, 03^th1993. I am the second child in my family, so my parent’s give me name dwi. I have one brother, and I do not have sister. I have parents’ who extraordinary. They are Sandiman and Saryanti.

2.  Now I am a student on Muhammadiyah University especially on English department and I am in ^4thsemester.

3.  Physically, I am a simple woman; I’m not tall and not so pretty. I have a sweat creamy yellow skin. My hair is straight and long. My nose is not pointed. I have chubby cheeks and small eyes.  People said, if my eyes like the eyes of Chinese people:-D.

4.  I am a spoiled child in my family, because my parents always spoiling me since I was child. Until now, I still cannot become an adult. I am including a cheerful girl, friendly, patient and like to help people who need help. I was born from a simple family of Java. I live in Tulang Bawang Barat with the wonderful family. They are my motivation, And I will make they proud of me. 

5.  My village is so comfortable. And my village far from the crowds. But, I really feel comfortable in my village because, many memories and much love that I get there.

6. My hobbies are watching the movie, shopping and listening to the music. I got interested with this hobby when I still in junior high school. Listening music can make me enjoy and comfortable. When I feel bored and have some problem, I always listening music.

7. The activities that can make me enjoy and I doing when I have free time is shopping and hanging out with my friends.

8.  Okay, that's all about me. Always improve myself to be a better person in the future. And I will make my parents proud of me.

Whatever and however people talk about me. This is me, and until whenever will still be myself.

Adequate Cohesion

Inadequate Cohesion

1.  My name is dwi astuti, My nickname is dwi.  I am 21th years old. I was born in Mulya Asri on March, 03th1993. I am the second child in my family, so my parent’s give me name dwi. I have one brother, and I do not have sister. I have parents’ who extraordinary. They are Sandiman and Saryanti.     3. Physically, I am a simple woman; I’m not tall and not so pretty. I have a sweat creamy yellow skin. My hair is straight and long. My nose is not pointed. I have chubby cheeks and small eyes.  People said, if my eyes like the eyes of Chinese people:-D.   5. my village is so comfortable. And my village far from the crowds. But, I really feel comfortable in my village because, many memories and much love that I get there. 6. My hobbies are watching the movie, shopping and listening to the music. I got interested with this hobby when I still in junior high school. Listening music can make me enjoy and comfortable. When I feel bored and have some problem, I always listening music.    8. Okay, that's all about me. Always improve myself to be a better person in the future. And I will make my parents proud of me.

2.  Now I am a student on Muhammadiyah    University especially on English department and I am in 4th semester. 4. I am a spoiled child in my family, because my parents always spoiling me since I was child. Until now, I still cannot become an adult. I am including a cheerful girl, friendly, patient and like to help people who need help. I was born from a simple family of Java. I live in Tulang Bawang Barat with the wonderful family. They are my motivation, And I will make they proud of me.              7. The activities that can make me enjoy and I doing when I have free time is shopping and hanging out with my friends.

Ø Paragraphs above, including the type of cohesion. However, consists of paragraphs adequate and inadequate cohesion.

And below is an explanation of the analysis of the above paragraphs:

v For numbers 1, 3,5,6,8 included in adequate cohesion. Because the sentences before and after the inter-related. And the information contained in these paragraphs remains controlled by the main idea.

There are sequences of conjunction and preposition in every next sentence, such as then, but, and, so, etc.

Use words repetition, like My Village.

And all the text is clear explanation in the end of the last paragraph and related with each other.

v For numbers 2, 4, 7 included inadequate cohesion, because there is no coherence between the sentences before and after. And the two sentences are un identical. The Transition words flow more is not smoothly. and in the sentence requires a few extra words in order to be adequate cohesion.