WRITING 3 (Identifying and Analyzing Paragraph with Adequate and Inadequate Cohesion)

A.  HOW TO WRITE PARAGRAPH WITH ADEQUATE AND INADEQUATE COHESION

                                                 

This section contains some basic advice for good paragraphs cohesion:

A paragraph has cohesion, or flows, when the details of the paragraph fit together in a way that is clear to the reader. Cohesion is partially the product of choosing an appropriate paragraph pattern for your ideas, and partially the product of sentence-level control.

Here are some ways to improve paragraph cohesion:

• Repeat key words or phrases or pronouns that point to them to link sentences (and alert them to the importance of the ideas represented by those words and phrases).
• Use parallelism. Parallelism can be applied to parts of a sentence. It can also be applied to sentences within a paragraph.
• Maintain consistency of tone, register, and point of view.
• Provide transitions. See "Transitional Words and Phrases" below.

B.    WHAT IS COHESION?

Cohesion concerns the flow of sentences and paragraphs from one to another. It involves the tying together of old information and new. When we write academic essays, particularly in the humanities, we work hard to foster cohesion structurally, which enhances a reader’s understanding of our ideas?

Essay organization

The first paragraph should include a thesis statement, which announces the main idea or argument of the paper. The rest of the sentences should lead up to or anticipate the thesis, either directly or indirectly. The body paragraphs should support the thesis statement and should be arranged in a clear hierarchy. Readers should be able to understand how each paragraph relates to what has come before it. This can be accomplished by the use of transition sentences.

Repetition

Repetition helps to enhance a reader's understanding of what the author has written. Pointers are used as a tool in sentences to use repetition for better understanding.

Pointers are words, phrases, or ideas that appear in a sentence, and are repeated in the next.

Example: Epilepsy is a brain or neurological disorder where excess electrical energy causes seizures. Seizures result when the brain's nerve cells, or neurons, produce an excessive or abnormal amount of electrical activity. Depending on this activity…

Example: Depending on this activity, three results may occur. First, the seizure may start and stop in one location. Next, it may spread a bit and stop. Finally, it may go through the body's nervous system before stopping.

To prevent repetitions from becoming dull, an author may use:

·    Variations of the word (golf, golfer, golfing)

·    Pronouns (doctors…they)

·    Synonyms (jump, hop, bounce)

Transitions

Transitional words and phrases, also known as “tags, are used to hold a paper together. They can be simple conjunctions, like and and but, or they can be more complex. Here is a chart of transitional devices accompanied by a simplified definition of their function.

C.    THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN COHESION AND COHERENCE

Cohesion and Coherence

Cohesion: Readers must feel that they move easily from one sentence to the next, that each "coheres" with the one before and after.

Coherence: Readers must also feel that sentences are not just individually clear but constitute a unified passage focused on a coherent set of ideas.

Cohesion

Cohesion refers to how a group of sentences "hang together." Sometimes, to achieve better cohesion we have to "violate" other writing "rules" we think are sacrosanct.

To understand coherence we need to consider how readers make sense out of larger groupings of sentences. Readers feel a passage is coherent when the writer helps them accomplish two tasks:

1. Identify the topics (what the sentence is about) of individual sentences quickly.

   2. Recognize how the topics form a connected set of ideas.

  Readers want to know what a sentence is about, its topic. However, this is not always easy    to find.

Topic refers not to the grammatical subject of a sentence, but to its "psychological" subject, and we expect to find the topic in the first few words of the sentence. Readers are more comfortable with these early topics because it helps them understand what the sentence is about. More important, readers depend on seeing in a sequence of topics (in a sequence of sentences) what the whole passage is about.

Combining Cohesion and Coherence

If you begin sentences and even clauses with information familiar to your readers, with phrases that are short, simple, and familiar, your readers are more likely to think you can write clearly and coherently. And no two units of information are shorter and simpler than the subject of a sentence and that subject’s specific actions as a verb.

Avoiding Illusory Cohesion

This handout lists ways of improving cohesion through providing consistency of topics and by helping the reader see the movement between various ideas. Some writers try to create cohesion by using logical conjunctions like thus, therefore, however, and so on, regardless of whether those words signal any genuine logical connections. Is the following passage cohesive?

Because the press is the major medium or interaction between the president and the people, how it portrays him influences his popularity. Therefore, it should report on the president objectively. Both reporters and the president are human, however, subject to error and favoritism. Also, people act differently in public than they do in private. Hence, to understand a person, it is important to know the whole person, his environment, upbringing, and education. Indeed, from the correspondence with his family, we can learn much about Harry S. Truman, our thirty-third president.

The connectors are virtually meaningless. Experienced writers rely more on the intrinsic flow of their prose than on connecting devices like these. While you might need a bit or however when you contradict or qualify what you have just said, and a therefore, consequently, or as a result to wind up a line of reasoning, you probably should not need more than a few such connecting devices per page. Any more than that and it begins to look as though you were worried that the prose did not hang together on its own.

In short:

1. Begin sentences with short simple words and phrases communicating information that appeared in previous sentences, or with knowledge that you can assume you and your reader share.

2. Through a series of sentences that you want your readers to understand as a coherent, focused passage, keep your topics short and reasonably consistent.

D. Identifying And Analyzing Paragraph

‘’ This Is Me ''    

 Well, in here I would like to tell you about myself. Everything, that related about me. In this paragraph I want   describe about me and how my life in general.

1.  My name is dwi astuti, My nickname is dwi.  I am 21^th years old. I was born in Mulya Asri on March, 03^th1993. I am the second child in my family, so my parent’s give me name dwi. I have one brother, and I do not have sister. I have parents’ who extraordinary. They are Sandiman and Saryanti.

2.  Now I am a student on Muhammadiyah University especially on English department and I am in ^4thsemester.

3.  Physically, I am a simple woman; I’m not tall and not so pretty. I have a sweat creamy yellow skin. My hair is straight and long. My nose is not pointed. I have chubby cheeks and small eyes.  People said, if my eyes like the eyes of Chinese people:-D.

4.  I am a spoiled child in my family, because my parents always spoiling me since I was child. Until now, I still cannot become an adult. I am including a cheerful girl, friendly, patient and like to help people who need help. I was born from a simple family of Java. I live in Tulang Bawang Barat with the wonderful family. They are my motivation, And I will make they proud of me. 

5.  My village is so comfortable. And my village far from the crowds. But, I really feel comfortable in my village because, many memories and much love that I get there.

6. My hobbies are watching the movie, shopping and listening to the music. I got interested with this hobby when I still in junior high school. Listening music can make me enjoy and comfortable. When I feel bored and have some problem, I always listening music.

7. The activities that can make me enjoy and I doing when I have free time is shopping and hanging out with my friends.

8.  Okay, that's all about me. Always improve myself to be a better person in the future. And I will make my parents proud of me.

Whatever and however people talk about me. This is me, and until whenever will still be myself.

Adequate Cohesion

Inadequate Cohesion

1.  My name is dwi astuti, My nickname is dwi.  I am 21th years old. I was born in Mulya Asri on March, 03th1993. I am the second child in my family, so my parent’s give me name dwi. I have one brother, and I do not have sister. I have parents’ who extraordinary. They are Sandiman and Saryanti.     3. Physically, I am a simple woman; I’m not tall and not so pretty. I have a sweat creamy yellow skin. My hair is straight and long. My nose is not pointed. I have chubby cheeks and small eyes.  People said, if my eyes like the eyes of Chinese people:-D.   5. my village is so comfortable. And my village far from the crowds. But, I really feel comfortable in my village because, many memories and much love that I get there. 6. My hobbies are watching the movie, shopping and listening to the music. I got interested with this hobby when I still in junior high school. Listening music can make me enjoy and comfortable. When I feel bored and have some problem, I always listening music.    8. Okay, that's all about me. Always improve myself to be a better person in the future. And I will make my parents proud of me.

2.  Now I am a student on Muhammadiyah    University especially on English department and I am in 4th semester. 4. I am a spoiled child in my family, because my parents always spoiling me since I was child. Until now, I still cannot become an adult. I am including a cheerful girl, friendly, patient and like to help people who need help. I was born from a simple family of Java. I live in Tulang Bawang Barat with the wonderful family. They are my motivation, And I will make they proud of me.              7. The activities that can make me enjoy and I doing when I have free time is shopping and hanging out with my friends.

Ø Paragraphs above, including the type of cohesion. However, consists of paragraphs adequate and inadequate cohesion.

And below is an explanation of the analysis of the above paragraphs:

v For numbers 1, 3,5,6,8 included in adequate cohesion. Because the sentences before and after the inter-related. And the information contained in these paragraphs remains controlled by the main idea.

There are sequences of conjunction and preposition in every next sentence, such as then, but, and, so, etc.

Use words repetition, like My Village.

And all the text is clear explanation in the end of the last paragraph and related with each other.

v For numbers 2, 4, 7 included inadequate cohesion, because there is no coherence between the sentences before and after. And the two sentences are un identical. The Transition words flow more is not smoothly. and in the sentence requires a few extra words in order to be adequate cohesion.

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WRITING TASK (Describing My Self)

Paragraph is a small unit of organization in writing in which all related sentence develop one main idea.  

A paragraph is adequately developed when it describes, explains and supports the topic sentence. If the "promise" of the topic sentence is not fulfilled, or if the reader is left with questions after reading the paragraph, the paragraph has not been adequately developed.

1.    How to write paragraph with adequate and inadequate unity:

To write paragraph, you should put into three of component of paragraphs namely:  topic sentence, Body or supporting sentence, and concluding sentence. another good criterion of the paragraph is unity. Unity means that a paragraph discussed one and only one main idea from the beginning to end. 

Unity is state the main idea of the paragraph in a clearly constructed topic sentence. Make sure each sentence is related to the central thought.

2. Coherence is one of the two criteria of good paragraph.. Coherence refers to the extent to which the flow of ideas in a paragraph is easily understood by the reader. Coherence is closely related to unity. When a writer changes main ideas or topics within a paragraph, confusion often results. To achieve coherence, then, a writer should show how all of the ideas contained in a paragraph are relevant to the main topic. Coherence Arrange ideas in a clear, logical order. Provide appropriate transitions to the subsequent paragraph. Coherence means establishing a relationship between the ideas presented in a paragraph. Coherence and unity mean that a paragraph has one main idea and all the supporting sentences and detail are hold together with appropriate transitions. 


3. Descriptive paragraph (Describing My Self) 

'' This Is Me ''

Well, in here I would like to tell you about myself. Everything, that related about me. In this paragraph I want describe about me and how my life in general.

      My name is dwi astuti, My nickname is dwi.  I am 21^th years old. I was born in Mulya Asri on March, 03^th 1993. I am the second child in my family, so my parent’s give me name dwi. I have one brother, and I do not have sister. I have parents’ who extraordinary. They are Sandiman and Saryanti. Now I am a student on Muhammadiyah University especially on English department and I am in ^4th semester.

       I am a simple woman; I’m not tall and not so pretty. I have a sweat creamy yellow skin. My hair is straight and long. My nose is not pointed. I have chubby cheeks and small eyes.  People said, if my eyes like the eyes of Chinese people :-D . I am  a spoiled child in my family, because my parents always spoiling me since I was child. Until now, I still cannot become an adult. I am including a cheerful girl, friendly, patient and like to help people who need help. I was born from a simple family of Java. I live in Tulang Bawang Barat with the wonderful family. They are my motivation, And I will make they proud of me. My village is so comfortable. And my village far from the crowds. But, I really feel comfortable in my village because, many memories and much love that I get there. My hobbies are watching the movie, shopping  and listening to the music. I got interested with this hobby when I still in junior high school. Listening music can make me enjoy and comfortable. When I feel bored and have some problem, I always listening music. The activities that can make me enjoy and I doing when I have free time is shopping and hanging out with my friends.

 Okay, that's all about me. Always improve myself to be a better person in the future. And I will make my parents proud of me.

Whatever and however people talk about me. This is me, and until whenever will still be me.

Note  :    

Orange     : Title

Blue        : Introduction

Green        : Identification

Red          : Description

White       : Conclusion

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Descriptive Text

Descriptive Text

Descriptive text  is a text which says what a person or a thing is like. Its purpose is to describe and reveal a particular person, place or thing. 

Generic Structure of Descriptive Text

1.    Identification

2.   Description

Language Feature Of descriptive text

1.     Using Linking verb of senses.

2.     Using three parameter of senses

3.     Using spatial order in which preposition precedes the  verb and the subjects.

4.      Using multiple tenses based  on the  time

Example of Descriptive Text

My father is a handsome boy. he is not tall but not short, and he has straight hair and brown. Her eyes color are like honey and her color skin color light brown, and he has a beautiful smile.( Identification )

he is a very kind person. he is very lovely, friendly, patient, and he loves to help people. I love my father, because he is a good example to me. He is my motivation. He loves singing.

he is a very good child, husband  and father. he always takes care of her family. He always give what I want. he always has a smile on her face. he is so sweet and lovely.( Description )

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Narrative Text

Narrative Text

Narrative  is text focusing some specific participants that have several structural features making     different f rom other genres. Narrative text is a kind of text to retell the story that  happen in the past, it gives either a factual or fictional story.

Generic Structure of narrative text

1.      Orienta tion 

2.      Complication 

3.      Resolution

Language feature of narrative text

1.    Using processes verbs

2.    Using temporal conjunction

3.    Using simple past tense

Example of Narrative Text 

Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Cinderella. She lived with her step mother and two step sisters.
The step mother and sisters were conceited and bad tempered. They treated Cinderella very badly. Her step mother made Cinderella do the hardest works in the house; such as scrubbing the floor, cleaning the pot and pan and preparing the food for the family. The two step sisters, on the other hand, did not work about the house. Their mother gave them many handsome dresses to wear.

One day, the two step sister received an invitation to the ball that the king’s son was going to give at the palace. They were excited about this and spent so much time choosing the dresses they would wear. At last, the day of the ball came, and away went the sisters to it. Cinderella could not help crying after they had left.
Why are crying, Cinderella? a voice asked. She looked up and saw her fairy godmother standing beside her, because I want so much to go to the ball said Cinderella. Well said the god mother, you’ve been such a cheerful, hardworking, uncomplaining girl that I am going to see that you do go to the ball.
Magically, the fairy godmother changed a pumpkin into a fine coach and mice into a coachman and two footmen. Her godmother tapped Cinderella’s raged dress with her wand, and it became a beautiful ball gown. Then she gave her a pair of pretty glass slippers. Now, Cinderella, she said; You must leave before midnight. Then away she drove in her beautiful coach.

Cinderella was having a wonderfully good time. She danced again and again with the kings son. Suddenly the clock began to strike twelve, she ran toward the door as quickly as she could. In her hurry, one of her glass slipper was left behind.
A few days later, the king son proclaimed that he would marry the girl whose feet fitted the glass slipper. Her step sisters tried on the slipper but it was too small for them, no matter how hard they squeezed their toes into it. In the end, the kings’ page let Cinderella try on the slipper. She stuck out her foot and the page slipped the slipper on. It fitted perfectly.
Finally, she was driven to the palace. The kings’ son was overjoyed to see her again. They were married and live happily ever after.

Note 

Black : Orientasion

Red   : Complicasion

Blue  : Resolution

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